Saturday, 12 November 2011

The Singing Bus Driver

What an odd week. We went from CFRA polls on firing yelling bus drivers to CFRA polls on singing bus drivers. The verdict is in, and Ottawa prefers bland over noise. Whattasurprise.

This is the same city that calls by-law over street hockey. The city that panders to Friends of Everything, taking the complaint over the compliment like a good squeeky wheeler should, unless of course there's an actual problem that is.

Yves Roy was the subject of some 12 complaints about his singing. I'm actually surprised that wasn't higher, given the playlist and his somewhat limited range. But, it was what it was. Did he break any company rules? I'm not sure he did. The company has all kinds of vague "suggestions" on how to provide Value Added Service to the customer experience. Why not sing to your customers? I think Yves greatest mistake was singing too much. If that stunt was an occasional bout of balladry, his legend would grow and people likely wouldn't have bothered to complain. He sang often however, which made it a nuisance to a few people.

Jim Watson sure sprang into action:

"If we allow a driver to start singing and entertaining how do we say no to a passenger who wants to start tap-dancing or doing stand-up comedy," said Watson.

That's right, your worshipply highness. We simply should not tolerate singing, because passengers might start tap-dancing, singing, or doing stand-up comedy. Well, we know it wouldn't be Sit-Down comedy. That boat sailed with optimization. I'm surprised the drivers can find a seat. Think Jim's ever ridden the 12 route? There are days where that bus feels like America's Got Talent. OC could nix the stop announcement sign and put three big red ex's on the ceiling of those slinkys for the pure entertainment! I'm honestly beginning to evaluate my personal standards of entry if that kind of behaviour isn't allowed. Maybe it would be more tolerable if Yves was drunk. And Stand-up Comedy? Have you heard Clive's son pronounce "Buckskin" in French? "Booo k. Skank. Boooo k. Skank"

What's with the swift action on twelve complaints, anyway? They did interviews, held polls, a mayor's reaction, with OC management stepping in to save the poor riders from hardship...Isn't this the same mayor that used the "We Only Got About 100 Complaints©" defense to downplay the riders' complaints about packed buses and major disruptions when he helped save transit from waste and want-not by cutting the heart out of much of the service to save a few bucks (booo k.s)? Now twelve complaints is the right combination of angst that gets the Deathstar blown up?

Ah well. The city loses another good guy bus driver. What the hell. We simply can't tolerate a little tobasco sauce amid the potato stew we're cooking here, can we? Next thing you know, all the passengers and drivers will start singing and tap-dancing. Then where will we be, right? That'd be chaos. And that's exactly
 what would happen. Singing. Tap dancing. Stand up comedy. Oh, the horror.  

Here's hoping Darth Vader doesn't set his sights on me next. The force is strong with this one.

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