Okay, so a judge, a prostitute, and a bus driver walk into a, errrr, library....
Sounds like a classic opening to a joke, doesn't it? Nope. It's the new line-up of "Books" at your local Ottawa library. Read the article. I'm not making this up. You can "borrow" a stripper, a prostitute, a Somali refugee, a judge, an HIV-positive man, a Peking Opera performer, a woman born as a man, a police officer, a bus driver or a bipolar man as part of a Human Library program.
When checking out the stripper, I suggest checking out Jimi Hendrix's "Voodoo Chile", clocking in at just over 15 minutes of quality dance time.
You may need less than 20 minutes with the prostitute. (Insert Do-Me Decimal system joke here) Hey, it's just like Stephen King books. Why bother buying it when the library will loan it out for free?
I hear the judge has been booked solid through next year. In a related story, the Hell's Angels have made a serious run on library cards.
I really only have one serious question about the program. Just who-on-earth is going to check out the bus driver!?! Is this the equivalent of publishing a self-help book called ""How To Win Friends And Influence People By Cramming Them Into A Large Tin Can Against Their Will"? Is this a ploy by the city to actually get the old crankys to actually talk to their customers? If you're borrowing a bus driver for twenty minutes to hear his story, then you're probably the same kind of kook that'd read some crappy bus driver's rambling blog... Um, never mind. Nothing to see here. Carry on.
You can spend twenty minutes with a bus driver just going the one stop between Metcalfe and the Mac Bridge on any given weeknight. Why bother with the library? If you get a surly bus driver that afternoon, you can tell the guy that the movie is never anywhere near as good as the book.
And what happens if you return the bus driver late? Is that redundant?
So many questions about this program. We'll keep you updated on my reading lists. In the meantime, I suggest they add Former Mayor to the list of human books. I wouldn't mind checking out Larry O'Brien for 20 minutes. I know that book pretty well, but I just can't get enough of the ending.