Monday, 27 May 2013

The Jim Watson Crack Scandal

What a month for Torontonians.

I've been rattling around with some ideas on Fat Bus Drivers, as featured on CTV news last week, but I can't quite get that post finished. So a little Rob Ford fodder it is.

This whole Rob Ford crack scandal must be what Sue Sherring dreams of when she daydreams. Imagine the daily grind of writing about Ottawa politics. Covering Ottawa municipal politics must be like covering an eclipse.

"Jim Watson Cuts Another Ribbon"
"Bob Monette Wants Better Highways"

Council just had a two hour debate over a clerical error, where councilors got all 'Doc Brown' when Marty McFly tampered with the official council minutes and tried to rewrite the history of mankind in the official record by correcting a clerk's typo. You would think they were correcting The Bible from all the hyperbole.

Whatever became of the debate, the Delorian didn't reach 88mph, and now LRT is back to North-South instead of Sort-of-West to Sort-of-East.


The most interesting thing that seems to happen here in Ottawa is councilors getting to say the name Rainer. It's an awesome name. Say it out loud. Ray-Ner.

But what in the H-E-double hockey sticks is happening in Toronto?

Their mayor just made the Jon Stewart show. (click his name if you haven't seen that) Here's a mayor who inspired thousands to donate a total of $200,000 to buy a video of their mayor smoking crack, sold to them by drug dealers! Holy smokes! There a pile of people in Toronto who I'd suspect of smoking crack, but the mayor? On video? Maybe he had just watched the Leafs blow that 3 goal lead, and thought "Hey, they're obviously on crack..."

Then Mr. Ford went on his radio show (Jim Watson doesn't have a radio show), and called the media a 'bunch of maggots' for covering the story the way they have. Is this guy for real? His staffers certainly don't think so. They're dropping like crack addicts.

So I'll ask the question: What on earth would it take to get Jim Watson to utter the words "I do not use crack cocaine."?

I honestly cannot see any chain of events that would lead to those words being said by those lips. Nope. None. It just couldn't happen. Ottawa politics would not allow those words from a mayor. Even the worst mayor ever in Ottawa wouldn't be caught like that. No way. No how.

Okay, We did have Larry O'Brien for awhile. I mean, if I had to pick ONE Ottawa mayor who could pick a Rob Ford kind of fight with a website like Gawker... it'd be Larry.  I doubt he was likely to smoke crack, but there was just enough animosity for some nutjob to at least accuse Larry of that.

Come to think of it, He did write this: which touts building Supergrids of underground nuclear thingys connected by rails to other cities with underground Supergrid nuclear thingys in an effort to save the world in a way that reads like a comic book super villain's plan... Soooo perhaps a rogue crack accusation may not be far off... but I digress.

I wanted more interesting stories from Ottawa politics, and I think I found it.

Jim Watson, as a young schoolperson, also dabbled in crack. While walking along Bank Street with his mother, he found crack lying on the sidewalk. As you can clearly see from this video representation that I stole from Robot Chicken, he absolutely inhaled.

Beat you to it Sue.

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